Something is wrong with me… I can’t sleep anymore. Correction: I can’t sleep when I want to sleep anymore. The other night I lied in bed, wide-awake, for more than 2 hours. My mind just wouldn’t shut off. It was soooo aggravating! I watched the clock blitz past 11:30, 12:30 (now A.M.!!), 1:00 and I grew angrier as every second passed because I had a 10AM class that day. Eventually I had to get up out of bed because I was too angry to sleep- plus my husband (who was then in full REM cycle) began his usual night chatter. He was going on and on about a puppy. He kept saying, “No, he’s a nice puppy, he’s nice, he’s nice, he’s nice, he’s a nice puppy.” Believe me, I wish I were making this stuff up. I decided since sleep seemed impossible I should be doing something productive with all that time. So there I was at 1 o’something in the morning reading my philosophy textbook.
Of course once I had found a prolific meaning for my insomnia the sleep monster would hit me like a Mack truck…. I don’t blame the philosophy book; I actually do find it a very interesting subject, but what the book did was take my mind off of the true sleep-thieving culprits. Their names are: new house, old house, mortgage payments, down payments, closing costs, carpet colors, and oh yeah… 18 credits. My life is pandemonium these days. I’m smack dab in the middle of building a new home, WHILE trying to sell my current home in the worst economic crisis the United States has seen since the Great Depression, WHILE attending college above and beyond a full-time status, WHILE dealing with the everyday craziness that is life as we all know it to be, WHILE never getting any freaking sleep like a normal person! … (deep breath) okay, time to stop ranting… I think I just perspired onto the keyboard. I try not to get too worked up about all of this because everything I’m dealing with- I put there. I know that. I’m just trying to plan ahead and work hard so that I can enjoy my life and reap the benefits in the very near future. But some sleep now would be nice. I suppose I’ll be learning a bit more about Socrates this semester than I expected.
Piece of Flea 